


Who Am I To Stand In Your Way.

by BGee93



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Future Fic, Heartbreak, Lawyer daichi, M/M, Memories, Not Beta Read, Post-Break Up, bassist moniwa, drummer bokuto, guitarist kuroo, not edited, write and dump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 14:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15753549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BGee93/pseuds/BGee93
Summary: Kuroo relives his heartbreak through a song he wrote.





	Who Am I To Stand In Your Way.

**Author's Note:**

> A 'friend' (jk I love you!) sent me this song: (Listen while reading for added feels)
> 
> Spotify: [ Who Am I To Stand In You Way.](https://open.spotify.com/track/3uEFtV5fPIcDR6fIKeeBcS)  
> Youtube: [Who Am I To Stand In You Way.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hPfL4zBY-c)
> 
> And said 'just listen to the lyrics', so I did, then he said 'okay now imagine your otp. One's pining as the other falls in love with someone else', and OMG I'm still fucked up over it. But it inspired this so yay? *cries on the inside*.

Kuroo shifted around on the stool, guitar sliding across his lap a bit as he got comfortable. Testing the strings with a few strums he double, triple checked that it was in tune, even though he’d just done so not even five minutes ago. His manager flitted around busily, making sure everything was ready and working for when they go live in a few minutes. 

A makeup artist came up and added another layer of power to his T-zone to make sure he wouldn’t look shiny on the camera, adding a few more swiped of mascara to his lashes and nodding before giving him a grin and a thumbs up. Chuckling he winked at her, trying to pull some of her lightheartedness into his nervous form.

This wasn’t his first live interview and it certainly wasn’t his first time performing to a crowd. But it was his first time letting anyone but his bandmates and manager, and so on through the long list of those close to his life, hear their new single. Today, with a live show, was the first time any of the public would be hearing it and it was such a… personal, song that Kuroo found his palms sweating and his heart felt as if it was throbbing painfully in his throat.

The hostess took her seat and greeted him. The makeup artist was back and doing last minute checks on the hostess and someone came over to check Kuroo’s mic. It was a small station, one in Sendai at Kuroo’s insistence at the backlash from his manager, so there was a bit more pressure on his shoulders surrounding the song. But those who knew the meaning behind the lyrics knew this was something Kuroo just _needed_ to do.

Soon enough they were in the countdown and then the camera light was on and the hostess was greeting the audience as a grin plastered across his face.

“And today we have Kuroo Tetsurou from Captains Heap as our special guest!” the sound effect of clapping echoed through the almost empty room, as Kuroo bowed his head to the host. “How are you today Kuroo?”

“I’m doin’ great, thanks for having me today,” he sent her his best cheshire grin he could muster. A sheen of sweat droplets were building up along his hairline as his heart raced. Thankfully his voice didn’t waver when he spoke.

“So where’s the rest of the band?”

“They’re actually getting ready for our tonight. We’re doing a show where all the proceeds from merch and ticket sales go to a local animal shelter that’s in threat of shutting down,” he ran through the other information he’d rehearsed beforehand. Waving his hands around as he talked while trying to focus on keeping the airy smile on his face although it was beginning to shake under the heavy fakeness of it. Somehow he successfully pushed through the ten minute interview though, but then it was time to drop the single for the world.

“So I understand you have a new single you’re here to perform for us?”

“Yes ma’am,” he winked at her and she played into it. Using her cue cards as a fan and turning her face away as if blushing at the action. Kuroo let her have her moment.

“Whew, okay,” she turned back to the camera with a blinding smile still fanning herself lighty. “‘M I right ladies?” the sound of whistling and clapping filtered through the air much like the fake clapping from earlier. He didn't know until his band ot signed just how much a T.V. station fakes and creates behind the scenes, and now that he did know it always blew his mind. Sure they _was_ a real audience but it was small and mostly filled with interns and film students. 

“So, before you begin,” Kuroo steeled himself to get ready to answer the question he knew was coming. “Tell us a little bit about this new single,” swallowing back the bile rising in his throat Kuroo shifted in his seat again and twitched his lips up to a smile, hoping the camera didn’t pick up on it.

“Well, hah,” he cleared his throat and blinked down to the glossy surface of the guitar, sniffling in a breath before meeting her eyes again. “It’s uh, it’s a song I began writing several years ago, um… Around our first tour which lasted about two years after we extended it,” he scratched at a nonexistent itch on his neck.

“It’s quite personal, ah, it’s about someone that I… That I used to know. And uh, we were really close until-until… Something drew us apart,”

“Oh so it’s a love song?” he shook his head.

“Mmm, more like a forgiveness song,” she tilted her head and waved a manicured hand for him to continue. “I uh, I wrote it as a way of,” he cleared his throat again. “Of, um, saying I love you and I-I forgive you for… For not choosing me,” he waved his arms out in a half shrug as a soft chuckle vibrated through his chest. Blinking away at the tears building up and warming behind his eyes as he let out a shaky breath.

The hostess nodded as if she understood but her eyes still creased in confusion. She clapped her hands and gave him the sign to begin.

“So uh, I hope you all enjoy the song and I hope it helps someone like it’s helped me. This is ‘Who Am I To Stand In Your Way’,” he lifted the neck of the guitar into his hands and slid to the edge of the stool he was perched on. 

The piano picked up and Kuroo quickly joined, picking away at the strings of his guitar to set the rhythm. His eyes drifted closed as his mouth opened and the lyrics began pouring out along with his years of built up emotions and memories.

“Forgive me,  
I may have said things,  
That aren't exactly,  
The way that I feel,”

_His yells and screams toward Daichi filled the air as Daichi stood on his doorstep, soaked through with rain and a sad but serious look across his face. Kuroo’s eyes burned with unshed tears as his throat became raw from his shouts. He called Daichi a liar, a bastard, asshole, any insult that could reach from his breaking heart to his mouth._

He steadied his breathing, eyelashes fluttering wetly on the top of his cheeks.

“I told you I'd be strong,  
I said that I moved on,  
But it doesn't take long,  
To realize,”

_Kuroo held Daichi in his arms tightly as apologies fell from his quivering lips. Daichi rubbed slow circles into his back while assuring him everything between them was okay. His head fell into Daichi’s shoulder as he cried out without restraint, all of the heartbreak and sadness built up within him. Words of pleading leaving his lips as he went from begging Daichi to forget about the confession to begging him to give him a chance. Promising he would do anything to make Daichi happy, even canceling the upcoming tour if that’s what it took._

_Daichi cried with him, apologising and hushing away his promises in shaky breaths._

“That I'm not over you,”

_”We were supposed to be going together,”_

_“I know,”_

_“So why aren’t you coming with me?”_

_“Because,”_

_“Why!?”_

_“I’m in love Kuroo,” the words still stabbed through his heart like a sharpened dagger. And Kuroo bit back the words ‘just not with me’ everytime they slipped forward on his tongue._

His eyes slid open and he painfully blinked at the sudden flash of a light being aimed at his face. Somehow he was able to keep a straight face though, somehow was able to keep his voice from wavering in the slightest.

“But if there is somebody that makes you feel happy,  
Tends to your heart in the ways I'd been lacking,  
Then who am I, who am I to stand in your way,  
To stand in your way,  
To stand in your way,  
I won't stand in your way,”

_They waved goodbye, Kuroo in the backseat looking back at the two of them while Daichi gripped his boyfriends hand as he stood at the end of the driveway, not stopping the slow movements of their hands until the car turned the corner and they couldn’t see each other anymore. Kuroo broke down against Bokuto’s shoulder and the drummer just hugged his best friend to his side and hummed soothingly until the tears stopped and Kuroo fell asleep._

Kuroo didn't know what he would have done without his best friend and bandmate. He’d been Kuroo’s rock through the years, through the flings and failed relationships. Through the haze of sleep deprivation and too much alcohol.

“I know it sounds crazy,  
But I need you to trust me,  
If it's how it must be,  
Then I'll fade away,”

_Daichi tried to keep in contact with him through video chats, texts, phone calls no matter what time it was for him, always insisting that Kuroo was too important to him not to keep in his life. But Kuroo could hear the boyfriends voice in the background, could hear the snide remarks and comments about their relationship and Kuroo slowly came to realize just how much he was hurting Daichi just by keeping him as close as he could. So after awhile he just… stopped._

And eventually Daichi stopped trying and the faded away from each other.

“When it finally feels true,  
Then do what you have to,  
Cause I'd never blame you,  
For not choosing me,”

_Kuroo thumbed over the wedding invitation, the gold-orange lettering shining in the light as it moved and reflected. Bokuto laid a hand on his shoulder and Kuroo looked up to smile softly, sadly into the concerned face. Without a moments hesitation he stepped open the trash can and tossed Daichi’s wedding invite in the depths of the garbage. Swiveling around to grin widely at his bandmates in their new studio her huffed out a sigh._

_“Alright, where were we?”_

“But I'm not over you,”

_That night he stayed behind in the studio to cry, sitting next to the trash can and fighting off the urge to reach in and take it back out. He fell asleep on one of the couches in the room. Moniwa showed up early with a coffee for him, no questions and no judgement. Just handed him the coffee as he sipped his own and began going over his bassline for their newer song in the corner._

“But if there is somebody that makes you feel happy,  
Tends to your heart in the ways I've been lacking,  
Then who am I, who am I to stand in your way,  
That I feel is no longer your burden,  
If there is someone that can make you feel perfect,  
Then who am I who am I to stand in your way,  
To stand in your way,  
To stand in your way,  
I won't Stand in your way,”

Kuroo felt the small tears clinging to his lashes and knew that he was drawing closer to having one fall down his face no matter how much he fought it off. His body was becoming number as the song drew on, a feeling he was thankful for since it seemed he was, in fact, able to handle the song now. Finally. It had taken a long time for him to be able to perform the song he’s written completely himself, needed to, just weeks after starting their first tour. Only being able to bring it out and show his band several month earlier and even then there had been several breakdowns in the middle of recording.

“Down the road someone will ask me if I know you,  
I'll pause for a moment, I'll smile and say that I used to,”

_”Oh we have new neighbors!” Kuroo grinned into the phone as he listened to his sister rant on about the couple who had moved into the long empty house a few doors down from her._

_“They actually know you! Oh what was his name again…” he hummed softly as he waited for her to remember, slowly peeling a few carrots over his sink. “Daichi!” he sucked in a breath as his finger stung from the cut. Cringing he ran water and stuck his finger under the faucet. “You remember Daichi right? You guys used to be thick as thieves!” she let out a cackling laugh, not minding his low cursing through the receiver. Grabbing a towel he pressed it into his slowly bleeding finger, a huff and soft smile twitching across his face._

_“Yeah… Yeah I remember him,”_

The song was coming to an end, thankfully. A tear made its way down the corner of his eye and Kuroo turned his head slightly to the side as he let his eyes slide shut again, hoping the tear wasn’t picked up on camera. He didn’t mind showing emotion on screen, he just didn’t want those who he knew closely to see it. Didn’t want some people who would know the song was about Daichi, to know that he still had such an impact on him. 

Giving into the beat of the song Kuroo focused on swaying and singing out the lyrics with everything he had left within himself.

“If there is somebody that makes you feel happy,  
Tends to your heart,  
The ways I've been lacking,  
Then who am, I who am I to stand in your way,  
That I feel is no longer your burden,  
If there is someone that can make you feel perfect,  
Then who am I who am I to stand in your way,  
To stand in your way,  
To stand in your way,  
I won't Stand in your way,  
I won't Stand in your way,  
I won't Stand in your way,”

They sat in silence as Kuroo set aside the guitar and turned back towards the clapping hostess continuing with the interview. An uncomfortable aura mixing in the air between them as they sat on either ends of the sofa, as far apart from each other as they could get. Once the show ended and credits began playing across the screen did the remote get taken up and the T.V. clicked off.

Daichi refused to look up, refused to look away from the blank screen even if he couldn’t see it anymore through the watery blur in his eyes. His fists clenched in his sweater so tightly it actually pained him to keep them so tightly balled up, but he didn’t remove them. His husband stood after another minute and began walking out of the room, turning only once he was under the archway that lead to their front door.

“Y’know it’s about you,” Daichi swallowed the searing hot lump at the base of his throat, shuddering out a breath as he nodded. “You said… You said you chose me because he _didn’t_ love **you** ,” Daichi’s bottom lip trembled as he finally glanced in the direction of the blur that was the one he’d chosen so long ago.

“I lied,” the words fell out in a breathy shudder.

“Obviously,” the venom in the words causing Daichi to flinch back against the soft surface of the sofa.

“I do love you,” he whispered in a broken sob.

“Just not like you love him,” hiccuping Daichi slowly shook his head, eyes screwing closed tightly as the large drops of tears finally slid down his cheek. Leaving staining trails in their wake. It was true. He didn’t love him the way he loved Kuroo, but his loving Kuroo would have ruined him…

_Daichi stared down at the letter in his hands, not believing the words printed so cleanly across the surface of it. He’d gotten in. He’d gotten into the internship at the law office, a full two year contract just waiting for him to sign._

_His eyes flicked over to where the photo of him and Kuroo sat on his desk across the room. Their happily smiling faces causing his mind to race as a cold shiver ran through him, the words of Kuroo’s drunken confession playing through his mind like a heartbreaking love song. Daichi decided right then and there, that no matter what his feelings were, no matter if they were returned or not, he was not going to stand in the way of Kuroo’s dreams of playing music. He knew all too well that his plans to travel with Kuroo’s band were slowly disappearing and if Kuroo found out the reason why he would choose to stay, so they wouldn’t get separated again._

_Daichi refused to let that happen, no matter what it would cost him._

The front door slamming shut was the thing that finally broke him. His head falling into his knees as he brought them up to his chest, wrapping an arm around them tightly. His muffled, broken sobs and watery babbling were all that could be heard in the now still, heavy air.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so to explain a bit further. Kuroo confessed one night after getting drunk but was sober enough to remember it, Daichi was already with someone but had claimed it wasn't serious so Kuroo thought he finally had a chance with Daichi.
> 
> Daichi got accepted into an internship at a law office that stopped him from being with Kuroo because he didn't want Kuroo to choose between the tour his band just landed and being with Daichi. The original plan had been for Daichi to go on the road with Kuroo after breaking up with the guy he was with.
> 
> Bokuto is a drummer and you will not take that from me. EVER.  
> Moniwa is the bassist.  
> Kuroo is the singer and guitarist.  
> And they are Captains Heap because that's all my tired brain could come up with XD

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Always On My Mind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17977076) by [jadehqknb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadehqknb/pseuds/jadehqknb)




End file.
